


It's not something you forget

by Snap_crackle_spock



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I really want to write a follow up to this at some point, Keith knows bc kissing, M/M, Oh that's right, please just let my hobo son rest, she's writing about Shiro being a clone, shiro's a clone, this is probably the shortest thing I've ever published.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:41:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snap_crackle_spock/pseuds/Snap_crackle_spock
Summary: "So, yeah. He allowed himself to be fucking selfish. He let himself throw everything he had into being with Shiro, deciding that he was done losing things; that it was time for him to start taking instead. He was allowed to want things every once in awhile. He was allowed to have something that was his. That he would fight for and die for and lose anything else for because that was the only part that he still had that meant much of anything. He was allowed to not want to share and to keep it to himself and if that made Keith a terrible person then so fucking what because at least he was happy and he didn’t really remember the last time that’d happened so he’d take what he could get.The fact that the universe decided to fuck him over yet again was worse than cruel."-Based on that one comic of Keith realizing the new Shiro isn't real bc he kisses differently





	It's not something you forget

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I wrote this in a dream
> 
> Listen I really want Shaggy!Shiro to find happiness at some point

There were a million things Keith knew about Shiro, and a million more that Shiro knew about Keith. 

Keith knew that Shiro drank his coffee with three packets of sugar and it had to be nearly as light as Hunk’s skin. If not lighter. He knew that Shiro constantly woke up from nightmares that would cause Keith to stay up with him for hours, rubbing his back and telling him that it’d be okay and feeling helpless because it never actually seemed to help but it was the only thing Keith could do. He knew that Shiro knows how to knit and jokes a lot about wearing eyeliner. That Shiro had one of those dorky planner books back at the Garrison and always wore a leather jacket and aviators when he went out. 

Most importantly, Keith knew that Shiro didn’t kiss like  _ that. _

He was one of the gentlest people Keith’s ever met, and their first kiss had been a lot of awkward moments where Keith would wait for Shiro to go in first but Shiro would want Keith to take the lead because he didn’t want the younger man feeling uncomfortable. And then when they eventually did brush lips, that was all it was, a brush. Nothing got forceful or pushy, and they didn’t even last long until it dissolved into a soft laugh and them settling into the couch in Shiro’s private room at the Garrison to watch some crappy television. 

But after that? After those first few kisses, when Shiro realized that Keith was maybe a little bit more than fine with being pushed around a bit? There were no gentle and nervous brushes, there was hard and passionate and absolutely intoxicating make-out sessions that involved the two of them, usually a wall that Keith was pressed up against, and his legs wrapped firmly around the bigger man. There were playful nips and teasing pinches and everything about it was just so extremely charged that Keith always felt like exploding afterwards. 

This wasn’t that kiss. 

It was a day or so after they’d gotten Shiro back. Everyone was still settling after their encounter with Lotor’s hybrids, the whole lion situation, and just having Shiro back in general. At first, Keith had been afraid of everything. Losing Shiro after the Kerberos mission, that had hurt. Hurt in ways that Keith didn’t even know he could feel. But then he’d gotten him back, and the world had become right again. 

And then the battle happened, and Shiro disappeared from his lion. Which… That wasn’t even unfair. That didn’t even hurt. It was just… It was wrong in every way possible. Keith had spent his entire life losing people. He lost his dad before he could even remember much more than what he looked like. He lost his mom before he even knew what a mom was. He lost his home and family apparently they’d severed connections with his dad after Keith was born, so he had nowhere to go and nobody to turn. He lost his individuality by being forced to a space-exploring military base because that was the only place he could turn once he’d aged out of the boy’s home he’d been stuck in. 

And then he lost Shiro, which felt like the worst thing in the world. 

He lost the Garrison because he’d been angry about Kerberos, when he knew that there was no way a ‘pilot error’ was the cause of the mission failure but they wouldn’t release any true information.

He lost earth, not that he’d ever been particularly attached to it in the first place. The only thing that’d kept him there was Shiro and he’d gotten him back, even if he wasn’t entirely there.

Then his lost his humanity, after learning that he was at the very least  _ partially _ Galra, the very race the people he’d learned to call friends had dedicated themselves to fighting. Which, well, that one stung, too. That one felt like he’d never be able to see himself as he once did, let alone what everyone else thought. 

So, yeah. He allowed himself to be fucking selfish. He let himself throw everything he had into being with Shiro, deciding that he was  _ done _ losing things; that it was time for him to start taking instead. He was allowed to want things every once in awhile. He was allowed to have  _ something _ that was his. That he would fight for and die for and lose anything else for because that was the only part that he still had that meant much of anything. He was allowed to not want to share and to keep it to himself and if that made Keith a terrible person then so fucking what because at least he was happy and he didn’t really remember the last time that’d happened so he’d take what he could get.

The fact that the universe decided to fuck him over yet again was worse than cruel.

And then… And then he got Shiro back. There weren’t words for the sheer amount of emotions that he’d gone through within -what?- sixty ticks? Once they’d gotten that pod into the Castle and pulled him out, he had exactly half a dobash before Shiro completely passed out. In that half dobash the two of them had exactly enough time to exchange a short ‘it’s good to have you back,’ ‘it’s good to be back,’ and Lance to make a snarky comment about Shiro’s hair. Then he was out of it again, and they rushed to put him in a healing pod. Keith didn’t leave it’s side.

After three vargas in the pod, Coran pulled Shiro out (something about staying in it too long could do more harm than good) and Keith led him to their room, where he promptly fell onto the bed and began softly snoring. Keith hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed that snore.

It somehow felt wrong for him to get into the bed, even though they’d been sharing it for almost a year now, and instead he decided to make himself comfortable in the chair across from it, using a small light to illuminate the book he’d left on the desk. It was about another four vargas before Shiro woke up.

When he sat up, Keith had kind of been dozing off, kind of been reading, kind of been watching Shiro. He straightened, closing the book with a snap and no regard for what page he left off on, and stared at the other man. They stayed like that for a bit, and Keith was kind of afraid to make the first move. When he’d gotten Shiro back the first time, he hadn’t remembered what they’d been to each other. It took mission after mission and countless sparring sessions for Keith to trigger a memory of them more intimately acquainting themselves with each other. 

In the end, Shiro was the one who broke the silence. “How long was I gone?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Was all Keith said in reply, “you’re back.”

“What happened while I was gone?”

“It’s not importan-”

“Keith,” Shiro’s eyes softened, and Keith melted a bit, “was everything okay?”

He wanted to lie. He desperately wanted to say, yeah, everything was great but they’re all ready to go back to normal. “No.”

There’s another moment of silence as Keith lets the situation sink in, and Shiro appears to be mulling it over, lost in his own thought. He hates the fact that there feels like a million miles separating them, when in fact this is the closest they’ve been in what feels like forever. Keith can’t stand the fact that, even now, even after he got Shiro back, he still can’t reach him. It’s these thoughts that drive him to stand, to cross the room, to take a seat on the bed next to Shiro. For a tick nothing happens, and he’s suddenly afraid he’s made the wrong decision. That Shiro only remembers him as Keith, the Red Paladin and not Keith, his boyfriend of nearly two years. He’s about to get up and leave, when he feels a pressure softly land on his thigh. He looks up and sees the metal Galra hand resting an inch or so from Keith’s natural-but-also-kind-of-Galra hand. He looks up, he meets Shiro’s eyes, he moves his hand so they overlap, and he leans in to kiss Shiro.

That’s where things go wrong. 

He could forgive it. He could brush it off and tell himself that it’s simply been a while. Shiro was rusty, so was Keith, they had just forgotten the fine points of each other’s preferences. So Keith pushed a bit, and Shiro followed suit, and they sort of dipped back into their old ways, even if it wasn’t exactly perfect. 

Then the unforgivable. 

Keith bit his lip a bit, Shiro let out a soft moan and slid his hand up the other’s chest until it wound around Keith’s neck, and suddenly the Red Paladin jumped to the other side of the room.

Keith had this  _ thing _ about his neck being touched. He just… Well he couldn’t deal with it. It made him feel helpless and like there was no way he could defend himself if something happened. The first time Shiro had tried to give him a hickey, Keith had actually screamed. He popped his collar to avoid it, he grew out the back of his hair to cover as much of it as possible, and he didn’t let anyone -not even Shiro- get away with shit when it came to that small portion of his body. 

That wasn’t just something you  _ forget. _ Even after Kerberos, Shiro had the habit in muscle memory. Even when he didn’t realize their relationship, he made a point of never touching Keith’s neck, and he’d confessed that he didn’t even know why until a month into fighting through Voltron. 

Keith stayed on the opposite side of the room, too confused to go back but too afraid of losing him all over again to leave. There are a few questions that slip out, routine things that he’s sure Allura will ask later, but he’s not really listening. His mind just keeps replaying the moment over and over, chanting the mantra  _ there’s something wrong. _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm debating adding on to this universe bc I really want a fic with Real!Shiro back and Shaggy feeling left out bc he's a good person secretly. Eh?


End file.
